Bonjour*. My name is Jacques; please forgive my occasionally faulty English. Also, if you think I am dead (it was mentioned previously) please forget that I am. It is not true. I am alive.
I found him still logged in to this blog today, and decided now was my time to set the record straight. As I have said, I was not killed by a train, though he thought I was; I escaped somehow. Now, reading the words he has written before, I realize the truth I suspected all along: He is insane, he is a complete psychopath. It should have been obvious from the start, I know; I should never have gone with him. I should have known all along that he was delusional.
I will explain this for you now: Do not trust anything he said in life, there is no way of knowing how much of it was a lie. Instead, trust me. I will give you the whole truth of things here. I will tell you things the way they really are.
In his last days he grew even more paranoid, I think, certain that I was following him. Ha, for once he was right. I have carefully organized his small funeral. I only imagine the surprise on his face when he realized what kind of mushrooms had been planted in his omelette. Now, he will never return to his killing ways. I have got the better of him at last.
* not strictly necessary nor logical, mainly for cultural effect
Mushrooms in his omelette? That sounds familiar.